Today, British Toff-in-Chief Prime Minister David Cameron decided to wake up and smell the coffee, suddenly recognising what's been the bloody obvious since the Middle Ages: Britain has a severe alcohol problem, and - surprise surprise - it's affecting more and more young people.
The British have always had this problem. It's one of the reasons so many French cities capitulated to Henry V, before Joan of Arc got the wind up her sails - they wanted the drunken Brits out of sight and out of mind. Even now, it's embarrassing to nip across the Channel for a day's shopping to see rat-assed Brits wobbling about and puking in the gutters of Calais and Boulogne.
Classy.
Cameron's even enlisted the aid of Harry Potter, himself, Daniel Ratcliffe, all grown-up and admitting to having an alcohol problem, himself (treated expensively and privately, of course).
Maybe Cameron needs to listen to some music. I suggest the Kaiser Chiefs, from Leeds, some way North of the prosperous Southeast bubble. They identified that the real alcohol problem is what happens in city centres every Friday and Saturday nights, making them virtual war zones: binge drinking.
Here's the words of their song to ponder, followed by the song, itself. (And by the way, much of the cause behind last summer's riots was down to alcohol and alcohol alone).
On a visit to a hospital in north-east England, he promised to tackle the "scandal" of drunkenness and alcohol abuse that costs the NHS £2.7bn a year.
He suggested the use of US-inspired "drunk tanks", cells to house people overnight while they sober up.
The British have always had this problem. It's one of the reasons so many French cities capitulated to Henry V, before Joan of Arc got the wind up her sails - they wanted the drunken Brits out of sight and out of mind. Even now, it's embarrassing to nip across the Channel for a day's shopping to see rat-assed Brits wobbling about and puking in the gutters of Calais and Boulogne.
Classy.
Cameron's even enlisted the aid of Harry Potter, himself, Daniel Ratcliffe, all grown-up and admitting to having an alcohol problem, himself (treated expensively and privately, of course).
Maybe Cameron needs to listen to some music. I suggest the Kaiser Chiefs, from Leeds, some way North of the prosperous Southeast bubble. They identified that the real alcohol problem is what happens in city centres every Friday and Saturday nights, making them virtual war zones: binge drinking.
Here's the words of their song to ponder, followed by the song, itself. (And by the way, much of the cause behind last summer's riots was down to alcohol and alcohol alone).
"I Predict A Riot"
Watching the people get lairy
It's not very pretty I tell thee
Walking through town is quite scary
It's not very sensible either
A friend of a friend he got beaten
He looked the wrong way at a policeman
Would never of happened to Smeaton
An old leodensian
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
I tried to get to my taxi
The man in a tracksuit attacks me
He said that he saw it before me
And wants to get things a bit gory
Girls scrabble round with no clothes on
To borrow a pound for a condom
If it wasn't for chip fat they'd be frozen
they're not very sensible
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
And if there's anybody left in here
That doesn't want to be out there
Watching the people get lairy
It's not very pretty I tell thee
Walking through town is quite scary
It's not very sensible
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
And if there's anybody left in here
That doesn't want to be out there
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
I predict a riot
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